Software Interview (with apologies to Mad Libs)

My family loves to do Mad Libs. If you’ve never tried one of these, I encourage you to visit and check them out. They’re a lot of fun.

I hereby offer my own humble version, based on my years of experience arranging interviews for software engineers. If you use this, I can’t guarantee success on your next interview, but at least you’ll make a unique impression!

“My Software Interview”

Thank you for having me here today to meet with your ______________ (adjective)

startup company.  I’ve been particularly excited ever since I first read that _____________ (name of tabloid celebrity) was one of your investors. Of all the _________________ (large number) of interviews I’ve had, this one stands out!

I’d like to tell you a little bit about my previous _________________ (adjective) job experience. I’ve been fascinated by computers and ______________ (plural noun) ever since the age of _________________ (number). I spent hundreds of hours ___________________ (verb ending in “ing”) in front of the screen from the moment that I could _________________ (verb).

I’m interested in leaving my current ___________________ (adjective) job for a few reasons. First, my boss is really a _________________ (type of animal). He doesn’t know anything about writing code that’s _______________ (adjective), _____________ (adjective), or _____________ (adjective).  I should really be the manager, but they won’t promote me because there was a small _______________ (noun) in my code last year that caused our largest customer’s website to ________________ (verb) _______________ (adverb).

Speaking of customers, our company doesn’t know how to treat __________________ (adjective) customers. Our competitors are eating our _______________ (food). Our call center, which is headquartered on ___________________ (name of planet or star) keeps customers on hold for an average wait time of _________________ (number) minutes, and typically tells customers to try rebooting their _______________ (noun) ______________ (adverb) before contacting support. Our software engineers spend most of their time shooting each other with Nerf ______________ (plural noun), playing video _______________ (plural nouns), or enjoying some of the free ________________ (liquid) or ______________ (food) that our company stocks in the pantry.

But let’s talk about me. My deepest software experience is with ______________ (adjective) _________________ (plural noun), at least some of the older versions. Well, to be totally honest, I don’t have any actual hands-on experience with that, but I did get familiar with it from watching ________________ (name of reality show).  I’m sure I could come up to speed ______________ (adverb) on that in only _____________ (number) weeks. I haven’t worked in an Agile environment before, but I’m extremely comfortable with the _______________ (adjective) development methodology. Perhaps you’ve heard of it? When you’re using it, all the developers get together every single morning in a meeting that’s referred to as a ________________ (noun). We do a release every ______________ (number) days. We’ve even automated our __________________! (plural noun)

I participate ______________ (adverb) in the ________________ (adjective) source community. I have several GitHub __________________ (plural noun) that you can check out.

I want to work for your company because eventually my career goal is to become a ________________ (noun), or perhaps someday even start my own _______________ (noun) that Facebook or Google will acquire for _____________ (number) dollars. I’ve had a few other interviews, but the feedback I’m getting is that my knowledge of computer science fundamentals is too ________________ (adjective).

Well, in closing, I hope you’ll strongly consider me for your next ______________ (noun). It’s been nice meeting you.